Kirtan Kriya

    I am seated on my sheep skin with a tall spine. One by one the teachings of the meditation come to me. My voice echoes the tone, “Sa”. All is lost once my thumb meets it's counterpart, Jupiter. In a flash I feel as if I am not sitting, but a friend is sitting next to me, and then another, and another. I begin to connect and feel a subtle support by the thousands of others with me in this moment.
    A dense and palpable fuzzy light radiates from the heavens through my crown. The energy swoops down in a slight L-like shape and exits through my third eye. Each syllable of “Sa Ta Na Ma” formulate from vibration into creation. The passage of light becomes stronger and effortless to maintain. I submit to this present being.
    The mantra seamlessly transitions into a whisper. I feel as if I am walking into a mysterious forest, or seductively whispering into my lover’s ear. A slight smile creeps through my lips, into my cheeks, and unfurls up through my face. Every muscle fiber becomes engaged and alive as if it was for the first time.
    Within a few more minutes the silent void takes precedence. Time seems to slow down. My eye focus drops into a deep abyss of darkness. That place where one is somewhat conscious but drifting slowly, comfortably, and easily into a deep restful state. I continue to hover in this magical place while being fully aware of each moment.
    It's not long before I loose any recognition of where my body begins and ends. Ever so grounded into the earth, yet every cell continues to loose definition. I am formless, I am endless, I am nothing, and yet everything in this experience. I continue to be lost and found with each passing second. At the same time I have no concept of what a second is, what a life is, what a mind is. I can only feel every part of myself merge with the ultimate Lover, my Christ, the Divine . Yet no recognizable face takes formation, for it IS and OF everything.
    I can feel every curve of this feminine form, my beauty and radiance is magnified. No fear of wondering what others would think. No thoughts of “who does she think she is?”. It’s unquestionable, because it just IS, and therefore doesn’t need to be explained.
    My soul begins to radiate into the boundlessness of the room. I notice the orange haze of the sunset through my closed eyelids. Although I cannot see, I can feel the rays gently making its way through the dense clouds and shining upon the left side of my face. The only thought that comes to me is the word, “remember”, quickly followed by rivers of poetry flooding my mind. The merging of this part of my soul, my purpose, my reason for being in this form continues on. Knowing that this is just one small piece that is being unveiled.
    I melt away into the ethers while mentally chanting “Sa Ta Na Ma”. This pure love making of my soul with the Divine continues on. Love that is the umbrella for my experience of Self in sensuality, comfort, support, and fearlessness.
  These moments of grace and wordless understanding continue to build upon one another indefinitely until I am brought back to a soft whisper. By the time I continue to chant out loud thoughts of the smaller self have already returned. My concentration waivers for a moment until I compassionately bring it back into focus again, and again, and again. The coming and goings of consciousness being contained through presence. Gratitude pours through me once the meditation ends. I have no need for an emotional release through tears. There's no need for a grand finale. Just a calm mind and heart united. I open my eyes, the clouds have combined, darkness sets in, the sun has come to rest…but not my soul. It’s still on fire.