Appreciating the Importance of Rest

Tis the season where I find a lot of sleepy eyes and low vibrations amongst those in my neighborhood. I don't know why I should be surprised considering it's right after Christmas. All of the chaos and frenetic energies of the season are starting to dissipate. We can finally relax. I'm sure in the subtle and not so subtle ways you were able to feel the excited, festive, choatic, or restless energies of the season even if you had a quiet and relaxing holiday. Perhaps you celebrate Christmas or you were just happy to have a day off work. Either way, I hope you were reminded of all that supports you and gives you rich nourishment in your life. I had an unexpected holiday, but it brought me great gratitude to remember to take time to rest.

It was about time that I got some much needed solitude and reflection. I knew this Christmas would already be different in that I was needing to reflect on the many things unfolding in my life. After I suddenly found myself nursing a bad cold, I wanted to take my request for solitude back. I was quite surprised since it was over a year since I had been sick like this. As I laid on my futon watching one Christmas movie after another while coughing incessantly, I started to realize the lesson for me on this holy day was perfect. Little snippets of this inner voice saying, “rest, rest, rest”, popped up frequently over the last few months but I must have ignored it more than listened to the warnings. This time of reconditioning has given me the opportunity to meditate on why we need to rest and how we can do it more effectively and consciously.

The Biological Need to Rest

There is a biological need for relaxation in our lives. Our nervous system is composed of the peripheral nervous system (PNS) and the central nervous system (CNS). The CNS consists of the brain in spinal cord. The PNS which consists of the autonomic nervous system (ANS). This branches into the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system. Our sympathetic nervous system in essence can be viewed as the “doer”. It's the system that puts our bodies in flight or fight mode. These sympathetic actions were innately designed to keep us out of danger. It controls vital functions like raising blood pressure, heart rate, and respiratory rates. However, our parasympathetic nervous system is important to bring our bodies back into homeostasis, or normal resting levels. Without our parasympathetic nervous system we would be running around like we're crazy all the time. Some parts of our bodies shut down so others can work even harder to keep us alive. On a much smaller scale, this isn't much different than most people's lives. We are constantly being propelled into a state of “go go go”. Our culture has conditioned us to always be doing something and this state of mind is becoming more of a habit than a choice with each passing day.

Instead of blaming our society, I'd rather focus on choosing how I can relate to society, my community, and responsibilities without the need of activating my sympathetic nervous system so much. That's why there's something called relaxation. The parasympathetic nervous system promotes us to go into a healthy relaxation state. For most people, the parasympathetic nervous system is weak. Just as all forces need an equal and opposite reaction, we need to be relaxing in order to counter balance the activity of our lives. From a yogic perspective the brief periods in between the postures and the deep relaxation (shavasana) are perhaps the most important parts of any Kundalini Yoga class. Deep relaxation is the time where one has done the work that is required and the rest is left to integrate throughout the body, mind, and soul. It is the space where the concept of, “let go and let God”, takes place. This lead me to contemplate all the ways in which I still need to let go and let God take over my life.

Resting does not mean you are Lazy

Being Lazy does not mean you are Resting

When a yogi is in a deep relaxation state, he/she is in a very alert or mindful place. When I am in deep relaxation I feel like I am in a place where time doesn't exist, yet at the same time I am very aware of my surrounding environment. I feel melted into the earth yet supported like I am resting in a hammock. It's the place where I hover right before falling asleep. I feel like I am gently captivated in a world that rests in between the world of contrasts, a place of zero. If I am engaged in any thoughts, then it is difficult to be in this place of surrendering.

However, some of us aren't able to take a full 15 minute mid day shavasana let alone a 90 minute nap. So I wonder in what other ways we as individuals and as a collective whole can take time in our days for mindful relaxation. More importantly, when we are “relaxing” is it just zoning out into habits or consciously being in the present moment during our down time? This propels me to think of how I value my time when I am at work, with friends, and in solitude. As a result, I can enjoy my free time more authentically and therefore value my time when I am being of service to others. Here are two questions that I continue to ask myself in regards to this free time phenomenon.

How much time of relaxation to do I even allow for myself each day?

This is where many of us, including myself, have blockages surrounding being lazy. We have children/pets to take care of, work, meals to cook, blogs to write, community service projects, etc.. Soon enough, it's late at night and we feel drained. Yet we accomplished something, right? Wherever we are in life, this is a good time to take a count of just how much time we allow for relaxation in the day. Self compassion and intuition will most assuredly lead us in the right direction in knowing the best times to relax and take action. Life isn't perfect and there will always be those days that are busier than others. Those are the days when I am filled with gratitude for making sure I do at least one thing for myself every day no matter what.

In what ways do I relax?

This was a hard question. Many of us think watching netflix, our favorite tv show, or browsing the internet/facebook are common ways of relaxing. Although there isn't anything inherently wrong with these forms of entertainment, I notice they tend to entertain patterns of behavior and not the need for true relaxation. On the other hand, there are times when you just have to be a human and enjoy these for what they are. Here are some ideas to start out with to bring more balance into when and how we choose to relax...

1. Go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day. At the very least, wake up at relatively the same time each day (with no snooze button action). This helps sustain the body's natural rhythm, especially during the winter months.
2. Know what to eat and how often to eat.
3. Set a timer for how long you need to use the internet, phone, or television.
4. Make a list of 3 things you need to accomplish each day and 3 ways you can mindfully relax each day.
5. Commit to your daily practice. Whether it is yoga, dance, meditation, or another creative outlet try to do it every day for 40 days. It helps to do it at the same time and place each day.
6. Lay down flat on your back to deeply relax for 5, 10, or 15 minutes during your lunch break.
7. Spend at least 15 minutes outside every day, rain or shine without an electronic device.

The first two are particularly important in that when we are rested and have the proper nutrition we are more likely to not only start our day right, but will be able to sustain it while completing daily tasks more efficiently. Ideally there should be more opportunities to relax.

These are all things I try to keep in mind every day. Some days are better than others and sometimes we need more reminding. That's why our bodies are smart enough to tell us to slow down. If there's one simple goal I can give myself for this new year, it would be to never diminish the importance of rest. These opportunities are a choice we must consciously make as they wait only for us to receive them.

So Purkh: Stepping into the Power of the Feminine

Light of Venus

These dark winter months call many of us to turn inward into our womb like nature for deep reflection. For me, the last few months in particular have been very energetically and emotionally charged. Time has seemed to become a blur and also pass very slowly at the same time. I rested in self nourishment on the Winter Solstice integrating the last 40 days of chanting a very powerful mantra, So Purkh, and how mantra has brought immeasurable depth to my personal practice.

Embracing the Gifts of the Shabad Guru

Chanting mantra is quite common in many Kundalini Yoga classes. The specific rhythms and sound current is often what initially attracts beginners to this practice. These mantras are designed specifically to cut through the ego so that one's Truth is unveiled. That is why it is called the Shabad Guru, a special sound that is a teacher. It allows one to unite the personal and Infinite experience of and within one's self. Some feel hesitant to chant initially, due to feeling that it is projecting a certain faith, religion, or belief. However, Yogi Bhajan was very clear in expressing his thoughts on this by saying, “We do not need another religion. We need the experience of a lifestyle or path- a dharma- that creates the spiritual fitness to act believably on our beliefs. The Shabd Guru is a special kind of technology with a unique contribution to develop potentials and handle the problems of the new age-The Aquarian Age....in each person's consciousness it builds the clarity to act with fearless integrity” (p.77, The Aquarian Teacher). I've chanted quite a few mantras since my first discovery of Kundalini Yoga, often finding that no matter how many times I've chanted the same mantra, it reaches a part of my soul in a unique way. The last 40 days in particular have brought insight not only into a new relationship with the the Shabad Guru but the powerful effects it has had on my life and the relationship of myself and with others.

A Personal Reflection of So Purkh

My intention to start chanting So Purkh was very different on the first day compared to the last day. My ego felt empowered knowing that I am this strong woman chanting a Shabd for a very special man in my life. What better way to be of service than through the strength of a woman's connection with the Divine? My focus and dedication would be towards elevating this man's circumstances so he could be prosperous amongst all the transitions he was going through. It would also bring clarity to our relationship and cut through any negativity between us. After one of my teachers, Ramdesh Kaur, strongly suggested that I recite this mantra she said something that left me confused for quite some time. Although I perceived that I was already doing so much, she asked that I ask myself in what ways I need to help him. It was clear that I needed to keep the message close to my heart due to the resistance of receiving these words.

The following days proceeded with not so subtle hints to revisit my behavioral and relationship patterns with men. The ways these patterns were revealed in deeper levels were surprising. Within the first two weeks I soon began to receive much healing of my past through a variety of insights during meditation and also being physically confronted with past relationships that needed karmic healing and completion. These series of serendipitous events were starting to become comical. It didn't take long to notice that my intention for chanting So Purkh needed to be tweaked. Once again, I was learning what it truly meant to be of service to another. As I continued to chant So Purkh I noticed my perception and ideologies embodying the actions of giving and receiving. About half way through my 40 days I noticed my focus transitioning from him towards myself. The small part of me felt selfish for redirecting this focus, especially since there wasn't much externally changing in this man's situation. Nonetheless, I kept doing my part and focused on giving what I could. As resentment and frustration slowly began to build, I noticed that the giving also needed to be equally balanced with receiving. A big part of it was once again healing the blockage of allowing to receiving. I began to understand that having clarity about my own personal needs was important, but it would be of no value if I wasn't open to receiving. Furthermore, I had to ask myself if I was even clear in knowing and expressing those personal needs.

I continued to sit with this lack of clarity only to be confronted with more issues surrounding patience, commitment to myself/others, self worth and self compassion. I soon came to a crossroads where there was nothing to do but surrender to the Divine and Trust the unknown with fearlessness, knowing whatever outcome came to me I would be infinitely supported. The more I tried to work at this Trust thing, the more it became less clear and less tangible.

One morning I was completing my practice and I felt the presence of Yogi Bhajan compassionately holding me yet at the same time telling me to stop feeling sorry for myself. This helped me get out of the trenches of my mind and take action. Within a day or so I came to a better understanding that I must learn to receive by expressing my Truth and be open to all outcomes. On the 38th day everything seemed to consolidate and become more clear. The unknown was still very tangible, but I had a different relationship with it because I opened up to a different relationship with myself. For the first time I was able to express my Truth and my needs with remarkable clarity and ease. I was able to speak what I needed from the voice of my Highest Self. At the same time I felt the most vulnerable than I ever had been with another.

Despite being vulnerable I felt protected and supported knowing that the support originated from within. Although I still had questions about the future in many aspects of my life besides my relationship, they weren't fueled by fear. In the end, I was filled with gratitude not only for the healing I received but the unfolding of the prosperity that was coming into my life throughout the process in many different ways. Through this I also remembered that when I don't think I have enough, I have to be even more thankful for what I already have. The message from my teacher came back to me full circle. In order to be of service to this man and to heal the relationship I have with him, I can only do that through myself. I still may not know the outcome will be, but I do know that when I surrender to my Truth, I am being of compassionate service to another in the highest form. As daylight slowly starts to emerge throughout the remaining winter months, I sit in quiet reflection and gratitude for this Shabad and sharing authentic vulnerability with another so that we may experience a glimpse of the unconditional love of the Divine.

What is my Reality?

My past is not my reality

For who does it serve?

History only trying to repeat

itself over and over again

like a colorless movie

and a plot with no ending.

So I must let go and let God take

care of any unresolved pain that remains

I can feel the fuzzy gray vapors of grief radiating

away from my heart already.

My future is not my reality

for change is inevitable

'What if'

'Only when'

the never ending list

of energy clouded with worry.

I sigh in relief as the realization strikes me that

there is risk

and then more risk
and then more risk

requiring me to give it to the Guru to handle the rest.

For these enormous and simultaneous insignificant happenings

of life are far beyond my comprehension.

I feel a weight lifted from my shoulders as I embrace

the courageous path of the unknown.

I am divinely supported, protected, nourished, and renewed.

All my scheming can be laid to rest.

The soft whisper of silence and Truth as my guide.

My present is not my reality.

For what is the definition of such a word?

The present is just a series of moments

now...

now...

and now...

constantly changing, fluctuating, and transforming

into something I will only know when I get there

if that ever could make sense.

For now I choose to

fearlessly trust when I am fearful,

be more silent so I can listen without an agenda,

and welcome the delicate process of the unknown being revealed.