Relax and Expand this Holiday Season

Holidays are fast approaching. Many have a to-do list that seems to be getting longer. This doesn't include the stress that can pile up unexpectedly. For example, my husband and I moved into a new house rental last week. Yesterday our indoor only cat got out and was gone for over 6 hours in the cold. She's not used to the Canadian weather. My internal state of mind and body kept wanting to contract out of fear and anxiety wondering if I would see her again.

I kept getting a message from Yogi Bhajan (the master that brought Kundalini Yoga to the west). I heard relax and expand, relax and expand. Once I relaxed my being I was able to expand my consciousness from being contracted and fearful to being open and clear. When we can see the whole picture, much like the hawk, we are able to make clear decisions and project our thoughts and prayers consciously. Practical tools like Kundalini Yoga help us to relax and expand into this state of mind, even if we have to remind ourselves to do it over and over again throughout the day. This allows us to surrender our worries to the Universe so we can be more present. At the end of the day my husband opened the back door and there was our cat waiting for us.

To help you get through the holidays with more ease and grace I would like to share with you the Kriya to Relax and Release Fear. Sat Dharam Kaur has a great youtube video of her teaching this kriya. You can access it HERE.

PEACE

Prayer is the power.

Even God, Goddesses, God's incarnations, and multitudes of humans have done prayer and meditation on the One Almighty God leaving a legacy of prayer for mankind to follow.

Now, when war is an impossible solution to conflict, let us work for peace and start by praying for peace of mind.

Peace to you, to your family, to your environment, and may Peace bring you prosperity.

Happy New Year and Best Wishes

Yogi Bhajan

The Place Between the Inhale and Exhale

This poem or string of words, has been percolating for some time. It was inspired by a class I recently took with Gurmukh Kaur, yoga therapy training in Los Angeles, recent life events, and wisdom I received from wise counsel. I also thought this was a good to share during this very interesting time in full moon and Mercury in retrograde.

Inhale..Pause...

Reconsider what is to come next

Dangling in this moment of simultaneous purgatory, confusion, and perfection.

Death and rebirth are the same.

The contentment in knowing the prayer has been sent and will be answered on it's own accord.

The pause that renders the audacity to receive gifts once thought not deserved.

The choice to act courageously towards a goal not yet known.

Putting aside the urgency so that we may listen for the silence through the influence of gratitude.

Look how far we have come to be standing in this here and now.

Exhale..Pause

To wait patiently in the pause,

the uncomfortable and unfortunate feelings of the unknown.

Seduction of darkness whispers for me to go deeper.

All must be balanced in the accumulation and the letting go.

This natural cycle is merely doing what it does best to keep all in harmony.

So why do we fight it relentlessly and sigh with disdain when it comes near?

Fear of being alone, of not having this, that, who, what in our life.

Surely it will all come back ten fold, often in a different mold than projected.

The mystery of prosperity hidden in the apana.

In the end a bigger hole to be filled by that which already resides within.

To see beyond the "you" and "I."

The merge into “we” dares not happen on the human's watch.

Only these brave souls are courageous enough to explore this pause,

the transformation from “we” to “all”.

The pause

the test

the block

the ultimate fork in the road.

How silly we are to be afraid of coming to these crossroads.

When this is the opportunity to eliminate polarity of self.

To find out what this experience is about.

To stop hiding from the Truth.

Afraid of seeing something we may not like.

Taking off the rose colored glasses.

For who will be judge but you.

Therefore nothing can be the wrong choice

and all is victorious.

The universe conspiring in our favor.

Let us challenge the elimination of the “you” and “I”.

The weapon of choice is self love

which cannot help but manifest and multiply in itself

only to be radiated in reflection of another.

If we are to be exhausted from this battle,

may we be thrown gracefully into the field of zero plus one.

May the polarities be neutralized.

May we have the courage to embrace the ultimate commitment to ourselves.

So all that is left is the place between the inhale and the exhale.

Pause.

The Beginner's Mind

photo by http://www.flickr.com/photos/38918634@N00/397824732/sizes/l/

I can only hope to keep a beginner's mind

to withhold nothing but my expectations,

suspending my beliefs for a brief while

so that I may be in this experience

for what it is without wanting to change it.

For if I always had a beginner's mind

then there would be no need for a concept of

limited time, compare and contrast, or analysis.

No such concepts or ideas could exist,

because there is nothing that exists prior to

this experience even worth to compare.

So maybe I can go way back

like it's the first crawl on my hands and knees

wiggling around with anticipation.

Looking, listening, and feeling each movement

following the next utilizing no tools but

only a deep seated curiosity in seeing

how this puzzle piece of a body, a mind, and soul

can fit effortlessly together.

Maybe I can touch and allow the healing of another

with deep appreciation that this body in my hands

will never, has never, nor could ever be like any other.

Therefore it will heal like no other.

It has more capabilities and possibilities to heal

like none other.

Perhaps the more I sit and surrender to these unknowing ways,

getting out of the way,

the healing will be allowed to do it's part.

It is only then when I will have permission to do my part

that which I am still figuring out with each touch.

Always reaching for ground zero rather than looking elsewhere.

Yet at the same time flying high to see the wide perspective.

With this beginner's mind I can explore the curiosities

of sensation through tenderness, compassion, kindness,

eroticism, playfulness, gentleness, passion, and all those

experiences of movement I take for granted.

May I appreciate one moment and then regard it as a daily

and equally unique happening in another.

I think of the moments of the imbalances where those touched

need to touch more often

and the one's touching need to be more touched by others.

I think of how we need to hug ourselves more, lay a gentle

hand on an elder, and embrace our children, each others' children.

I hope when these moments come

I receive and give them with gratitude.

A new freshness, quiet solitude, and cozy feeling

settles in my heart on these first days of the new year.

These thoughts of letting go, letting in, accepting,

and reflection are within many people's minds.

Yet for me the only thing I wish is to have is a beginner's mind

every day as a healer, teacher, friend, daughter, lover, and woman.

And through this I enter into happiness.

What is my Reality?

My past is not my reality

For who does it serve?

History only trying to repeat

itself over and over again

like a colorless movie

and a plot with no ending.

So I must let go and let God take

care of any unresolved pain that remains

I can feel the fuzzy gray vapors of grief radiating

away from my heart already.

My future is not my reality

for change is inevitable

'What if'

'Only when'

the never ending list

of energy clouded with worry.

I sigh in relief as the realization strikes me that

there is risk

and then more risk
and then more risk

requiring me to give it to the Guru to handle the rest.

For these enormous and simultaneous insignificant happenings

of life are far beyond my comprehension.

I feel a weight lifted from my shoulders as I embrace

the courageous path of the unknown.

I am divinely supported, protected, nourished, and renewed.

All my scheming can be laid to rest.

The soft whisper of silence and Truth as my guide.

My present is not my reality.

For what is the definition of such a word?

The present is just a series of moments

now...

now...

and now...

constantly changing, fluctuating, and transforming

into something I will only know when I get there

if that ever could make sense.

For now I choose to

fearlessly trust when I am fearful,

be more silent so I can listen without an agenda,

and welcome the delicate process of the unknown being revealed.

Listen and Be Silent

The winter days have settled in.

I notice time slowing down as

A low hum vibrates through me

calling me to nestle under

cozy blankets and do absolutely nothing.

I’ve been resisting this nothingness for days now

But the need to “go go go” is dissipating

As I listen to the dull ache in my body

Telling me the reserve is on low

While the need to withdraw within increases.

I let whatever this is flow through me and be

Transformed into the unnamed 

I guess I’ll be a human now.

The Forest Within

Cascading branches of the willow trees lead me down this path masked in sorrows.
Yet I walk on my heels to be healed
As I enter the forest within.
Eyes tightly shut, open, and adjust only to behold the mystery all around.

Tall sequoias trail both sides of me while looking down upon me with each chosen step.
The natural darkness surrounding me seems to comfort me at the same time.
This forest within has many twists and turns. The mystery never fails to unfold with each step despite the insecurity, fear, and confusion. However, it all leads to the womb place. This magical place of awaits me below the blankets of moss. No questions can arise, because the answers are already in clear view. Oh receive me, Mother, into these roots where I can sigh in relief that I am protected and always cared for.
Through the rustling of the leaves I hear the hawk shout his praises. He reminds me that all is transforming with each passing second. The only way to make my way through these winds of change is to soar above it where all is calm. I can then enjoy the grey clouds and sun all as the same, knowing that this churning and twisting is being presented in my favor.

The forest within is only as deep as I am willing to walk through it. Magic and beauty await me, beckoning me to find playfulness in this almost unbearable game of hide and seek. Was it ever hiding in the first place?

I ask for direct guidance to lead me without misstep through this forest of darkness. Trust and all is well.

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree

The fall season in Portland is simply magical. Perhaps I never took the time to notice the specific beauty that fall brings. Then again, maybe it's global warming working it's charm. I choose, however, to focus on the cool air, beaming sun rays, and crystal clear skies of these unusual days. It's also been a much welcomed and calming transition from the summer months for me in many ways. Now is the time of year where opportunities for rest, relaxation, and all the cozy things of fall are sought out.

One of those opportunities came to me recently as a friend and I relished in a day of nourishing the feminine within. A much needed hour soak at the Common Grounds Wellness Center. During the drive back home our eyes were brought to the sight of a large apple shaped balloon in the distance. I should say it was good marketing, since we spontaneously took a pit stop at the Portland Nursery's seasonal apple festival. What a good time we had participating in all the fall festivities while tapping into our inner child beckoning to come out and play.

I gathered a number of delicious apples and pears. Once I got home and started unloading my bag, I came across a luscious bright green apple. I already forgot the name of what type it was, but it didn't matter. It was gorgeous. In reverence for this gift from Mother Earth, I decided to place it on my meditation altar. Perhaps the nourishing green energy emanating from it would bring me some financial prosperity. It wasn't long before I realized I had been meditating in front of this apple for almost a week. Then I thought, “Wow! This apple has got to have some good vibes! I'm going to keep meditating and see what happens.” These thoughts occurred in a subtle way yet frequently enough to bring my awareness to what was really going on. Instead of fighting this resistance to my ego, I indulged a little and pondered the benefits of meditating in front of this delectable fruit. Oh what benefits I would reap in the end of this experiment! It was quite a humorous internal dialogue.

A week passed and it was finally time to taste the richness of the apple. After all, I didn't want it to sit there too long or else it would go bad. The color by this time seemed a little brighter and even more appetizing. I cut the apple into slices and put them delicately on a small plate. What would it taste like? Would it be even sweeter, fulfilling, and nourishing than I expected? I placed the apple in my mouth and chewed very consciously to take objective notice of the taste, as if I had any recall of what it tasted like before I took my first bite.

In one sweet moment of I felt the true essence of this apple. The taste of the surprisingly sour juice on my lips caused my mouth to salivate even more. By the time the second half of the apple got to my mouth, I was feeling the beginnings of satisfaction and fullness. At the same time, I didn't think too much of what was going on, allowing the moment to pass with each bite. It really wasn't a big deal at all. For in the end it was simply and perfectly an apple. It didn't try to be delicious, grand, or delightfully satisfying. The apple didn't indulge in my perceived views of it nor cared to fit those expectations or ideologies. I'm sure if it could think, it wouldn't bother questioning it's purpose as it ripened from the tree branch and fell to the ground. It was what it was. It was an Apple and was probably just fine with being that. This apple was already whole and complete in itself.

Until I bit into it.